Pain and Happiness

We all experience pain differently and in different ways. At the same time, we've been told we won't be given more than we can bare. Yesterday was a day filled with pain for me. I woke up about 7:30 and was heading out of my room to go wake up the girls for school. I was suddenly hit with a searing pain in my abdomen and shooting pains in my low back towards my bum too. I laid back down for a bit and it didn't lessen. I knew I needed to wake the girls so I started crawling and crying down the hall to Olivia's room. I didn't even have to walk in to her room. She heard and saw me hunched over in her doorway. She asked if I was ok. I answered honestly and said no. Lindsey heard me as well and came out to see what she could do. She helped me back in to bed. I texted Jaime and told him I was pretty sure I had another ovarian cyst. It's a pain you just don't forget. 

As I laid there I remembered a Relief Society lesson where the sister teaching told us that Christ suffered ALL pain in the garden of Gethsemane. Even the pain of childbirth. So as I laid there hurting I cried thinking that Christ felt this same pain, for me. For some reason this is a pain I need to experience while here on earth and  He knows that I can handle it. 

Lindsey came back in my room to say Tyler had wet his bed. Ugh! Not now. Lindsey was wonderful and bathed Tyler as Liv helped me remove the bedding. I couldn't do it without help. I hurt so bad. We made our way downstairs. I made a quick lunch for Olivia (Lindsey wanted hot lunch) and then I received a message from Jaime saying he would be home soon. YESS!! But oh no. He has such a busy week. And honestly what is he going to do for me? He can't make the pain go away. 

Well he came home and took the girls and neighbor girls to school for me. After that he and the boys went to the store to buy the movie "Frozen" and donuts for Lindsey's birthday. Yes, it was Lindsey's birthday. I  felt like I had totally ruined it. My plan was to make her fav breakfast - French toast. That obviously didn't happen. Instead she helped the others get cereal to eat. 

When Jaime got home from the store the pain had lessened but I still hurt. He bought me some pain meds that'll help me sleep. He stayed home until he had to go back to work at 11:30. We continued to read up on cysts and what causes them and what the symptoms are. I had most of them. One of the symptoms is throwing up. I didn't throw up but I almost did, TWICE! It hurt to go the bathroom, another symptom, so I really avoided going most the day. I remember that from when I had my cyst in Hawaii. It was exactly the same. I've had about 4 painful cysts in my life. My first was when I was about 14 or so. I was crying and crawling up the stairs in our house and my mom had my dad carry me to their bed where Dad and Grandpa Noble gave me a blessing. The pain immediately went away that time. We had no idea what it was then. I had my second one in Hawaii on our Honeymoon. It sent me to the hospital there and they just thought I was constipated from hawaiian food and sent me on my way. It was fine the next couple days and when we were back home the pain hit again, harder. Jaime took me to the hospital in Sunnyside. They too thought I was constipated until they did a test and SAW my left ovary was 8x the normal size. They were so much kinder to me then. They gave me a very PAINFUL shot in the butt and sent me home. That shot knocked me out FAST. After that one I had a cyst about 6 months ago but it wasn't as bad as the first two and then I'm sure I had another one yesterday. The bursting/rupturing is what hurts. When it's leaking fluid. This is what I've learned from my doctors and more from reading. I've also learned that if you have a history of cysts you're more likely to continue getting them. Yay for me!! (Sense the sarcasm in my voice.)

Can I tell you something? This hurts worse than childbirth. And I have found out from a friend who's had multiple cysts that after she had her first baby, she thought "I could have a baby any day after that cyst." So she agrees with me that the pain of the cyst was worse than childbirth. Jaime has a co-worker who gets them as well and she told him she just stays in bed till it's over. The only way to prevent them from coming back is through surgery to remove the ovaries. yuck. Wonder when my next cyst will be…

So for Lindsey's birthday dinner she wanted her usual - Chicken broccoli casserole. Its easy enough I was able to throw it together. Jessica had offered to bring dinner in but I had just put the casserole in the oven when she had asked. However, I still wanted to make Lindsey's requested birthday dinner. She had wanted to have a "fancy" dinner like we did for Valentine's day. I didn't go the entire extent of it. I didn't use our china because I didn't want to hand wash them after dinner. But she was served a roll, salad, and the main course and sparkling red grape juice. She loved it. Jaime missed out as he has parent/teacher conferences this week and the principle is needed to be there. He also went the the girls school for their conferences without me. 

For dessert we had donuts. Maple bars to be exact. Lindsey's favorite (mine too).  At 6:30 someone came by to buy Lindsey's old bike. She sold it for $27. She got a dollar in the morning for losing her tooth the night before. The girl made $28 on her birthday! She was pretty excited about that. We waited a couple hours hoping Jaime would be home a bit early to see Lindsey open her gifts but I went ahead and let her open them about 7. 

Look at her face! Shock!

She loves the Wizard of Oz and anything to do with it. She dressed up as Dorothy for Halloween! So when she saw these Wizard of Oz themed La La Loopsy dolls she had to have them. She had gotten the scarecrow "Bayley Sticks N'Straw" a couple months ago. I bought her Dotty Gale (Dorothy), Tinny Ticker (Tin Man) and Kitty B Brave (Cowardly Lion) for her birthday so she'd have the complete set of 4. She was so excited. Its hard to find Dotty anywhere so I got lucky when I was able to find all 3 and purchase them ON SALE a few months ago. :)

She really enjoys the Lego Friends sets and the Disney Princess Lego sets are new. Jaime and I got her the Rapunzel set. Olivia and Lindsey put it together right away. Olivia is quite the ham, wouldn't you agree?

Jaime got home about 7:45. At 8:20 Darold came over to drop off some essential oils for me that I had purchased for my shoulder. Yep, another pain I've had to deal with the past two 1/2 months. I've gone to a massage therapist, chiropractor, general practitioner, and physical therapist for this. There's a possibility of an MRI too. Two sunday's ago I had the impression to talk to Melinda about these oils. She gave me some samples and upon using them that night I had greater range of motion without pain. I'm not completely better yet but I'm willing to try anything. 

While Darold was here Jaime asked him to assist in giving me a blessing. Of all the help I can get in all this pain, I need the Lord's help. I'm grateful for the Priesthood and these wonderful men who were able to assist in giving me a blessing. After Darold left Jaime and I got the girls put to bed (the boys were already down) and then Jaime put me to bed after I took some night time pain pills. I was in bed by 9:37 and fell asleep quick. This morning my body is pretty sore from being tensed up in pain yesterday but I'm feeling much better. I woke up at 8, panicked that I needed to get the girls ready for school in 40 minutes. I came downstairs to find Jaime still there, getting the girls lunches made, breakfast on, and emptied the dishwasher. He was going in late to work to make sure I was ok and the morning was taken care of. Awww, thanks babe!

I'm so thankful for Jaime. I'm so blessed that he has a job that if he needs to he can leave to come to me. He had to cancel and reschedule multiple meetings to come and take care of me. Last night he told me how many people were asking if everything was ok and how I was. Word travels fast. He only told his VP and secretary but when meetings with others were cancelled they were told why by the secretary. They were all very understanding and kind about it. 

So as I had such a pain filled day, I still made the time to appreciate Lindsey and celebrate her birthday. I can't believe she's 10. Double digits! Not sure I'm old enough for a kid that old but with the way my body is, I guess it is aging. lol Lindsey is truly a special girl. She has a very sensitive spirit. She's at a point where she likes to come up and give me a hug just because. I tell myself I need to take advantage of that to stay close to her. She's getting older and will feel she needs me less and less. 

Happy Birthday Lindsey! We brought you home 10 years ago today. It was a sunny, windy day. A day I'll never forget. Putting your tiny precious body in a carseat and driving home from the hospital with our first baby. I remember passing a gas station and seeing the cost of gas was $1.79 a gal. Now today it's $3.73. Odd thing to remember on that day but I do. :)

I love you Lindsey.